


The Plan by XFreak

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Series: Fear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:49:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair have a misunderstanding.<br/>This story is a sequel to Insecurity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Plan by XFreak

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback and constructive criticism are desired. Thank you to Grey for taking time out of a very busy schedule to beta for me. I appreciate it very much! Changes were made after this was beta read, so any mistakes are completely my own.

## The Plan

by XFreak

Author's webpage: <http://www.e-fic.com/xfreak/>

Author's disclaimer: The Sentinel, Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg, Simon Banks, Lila Hobson, The Jags, and Sneaks belong to Pet Fly Productions and Paramount. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of fiction is purely for enjoyment and no money is being made from it.

* * *

Jim dragged his fatigued bones through the door of the loft, mentally recounting the events of the case that had led him to this level of exhaustion. Each muscle screamed as it moved, weariness weaving itself through every fiber of his being. Catching sight of his lover's warm smile brought out a reserve of energy that he hadn't been aware he possessed. 

"How was your date, Jim?" Blair asked as he got up from the couch and relieved the older man of his coat, hanging it up for him. 

"It was okay, but I couldn't get my mind off you." The younger man blushed at his words, ducking his head down to hide his face as his hair slid forward to cover it. Smiling, the detective loved that he could still affect his lover that way. 

Jim pulled Blair close, gazing hungrily down at him. The younger man's strong hands grasped the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling him down. He slowly lowered his head, softly touching his lips to those of his lover. Pushing the full lips open with his own, he slid his tongue inside, hearing as well as feeling a whimper in response. After breaking the kiss, he smiled at the scrunched up nose on his companion's face. 

"Man, you reek! What did she do...wear the whole bottle?" The detective raised his eyebrows, wrinkling his forehead, and nodded. 

"Pretty close to it. I'll go shower." He tried to pry Blair's hands away from his jacket with no luck. 

"Uh-uh. You're mine now. I'll just have to dial it down or something." The smaller man waved his hand in front of his nose, shaking his head. Grabbing Jim's hand, he pulled the other man along into the living room. 

Stopping in front of the couch, Blair removed the detective's jacket and laid it over the back of the couch. He stepped forward, standing on his toes, and pulled his lover's mouth back down to his. Folding his hands behind the nape of other man's neck, he held the cop close. 

Jim thought the younger man might crawl up his body at any time. Blair latched onto him like he wanted to be taken into the larger man's frame, to become one with him in body and spirit. The possessiveness he displayed aroused Jim, his cock beginning to fill. 

Blair stepped back, working on the fastener to his lover's pants with both hands. After sliding the zipper down, he opened them and slid his hand inside. Wasting no time, he squeezed the hard member before pumping it. The older man moaned as his head fell back, eyes closed and lips parted. 

After a few strokes, the motion slowed and then stopped. The younger man's forehead wrinkled into a frown. 

"Jim?" The detective raised his head at the questioning tone, opening his eyes. "Where's your underwear?" 

"Uh, well..." Ellison glanced away quickly, his cheeks heating, feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

"You _slept_ with her! Damn you!" Jim's eyebrows drew together as he questioned his lover, seeing the tormented blue eyes blazing up at him. 

"What?" 

"You couldn't get your mind off me, huh? Well, I guess your dick had different ideas while it was driving into her!" He stormed past the detective toward his old room. 

"Chief, wait!" Blair spun around, blinking the pain from his eyes. 

"For what?" 

"I...I...thought that was the plan." Jim didn't know if his voice had ever sounded so uncertain. 

"I told you to go out on a date, Jim. I didn't want people to start talking. I didn't tell you to screw her!" 

"But you even picked the woman because you knew she wouldn't want a commitment and wouldn't get hurt. What else did you think she would want?" Blair raised his hands in a surrendering gesture, curls bouncing as he shook his head, closing off his expression. 

"I don't know, Jim. All I know is I need to be alone for a while. I don't want to look at you right now." His voice quivered as he spoke. 

He turned and left the detective staring after him with his pants still hanging open as wide as his mouth. The French doors shut with a thud that sounded loud to Jim's ears, but he knew the younger man would have slammed them except out of courtesy toward him. 

"What just happened here?" he asked the empty room. 

* * *

After about thirty minutes, the French doors opened and Blair emerged. He walked with purpose toward the coat rack. 

"I'm going out for a while," he said flatly. 

"Chief, we need to talk." The smaller man glared at him as he put on his jacket. 

"Don't you call me Chief until I give you permission to do so. You have no right." He reached for and rested his hand on the doorknob, waiting for a response. Jim stood, his hands pushing against his hips, the muscles in his arms and shoulders pulled as taut as a tightrope. 

"Blair, are you telling me that we're over?" The student's shoulders sagged, face downcast. Raising his head, he gazed into Jim's eyes sincerely. 

"Jim, I'm not telling you anything except that I need some time to think." 

"So it's a possibility that we're through?" 

Blair shrugged. "Anything's possible, I suppose." He watched as the Ellison walls slammed down fast enough to give the man whiplash. Jim's face closed off as he turned his back to his lover, walking slowly to the balcony window. Turning the doorknob, the student let himself out of the loft, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

* * *

When Jim awoke from the slumber he'd fallen into on the couch, he immediately located Blair's slow heartbeat. Orienting himself after waking, he found the other man in his old room. He walked to the door of the room where this whole relationship had started and watched his lover sleep on his side, facing the other direction. 

Standing there, the ache that had throbbed in his heart lodged itself in his throat. He couldn't stand the thought of this young free spirit flying away from him, leaving him an empty shell. Fighting the urge to lie down behind the smaller man, enfold him in his arms, and never let go, he forced himself to look away. 

Quietly, the detective listlessly climbed the stairs to his lonely bed, _their_ bed. Undressing, he folded his clothes and placed them on the floor to be taken down to the hamper the next morning. Sliding under the covers, he lay on his stomach with his face pressed into the pillow. A silent howl escaped him as he fought for control, telling himself he wouldn't lose it until Blair ended their relationship. He wished for the oblivion of sleep, but it didn't come for several long hours, too exhausted to succumb. 

* * *

The next morning, Jim woke to the smell of bacon and eggs along with the aroma of coffee. He would need a full pot of the stuff, having slept all of two hours. Dragging himself out of bed, he put on his robe and wearily headed down the steps. Feeling like the previous night's fatigue had been a walk in the park, he sighed heavily. 

"Morning. Jim, you don't look so good." The genuine concern in Blair's voice set his blood on fire. 

"Well, I didn't sleep much, Sandburg. What do you expect?" 

"Uh...breakfast is almost ready if you want to go get your shower. Here." The younger man held a cup of coffee out to him, keeping his body back as if afraid of being struck by an angry snake. Jim grumbled a "thank you" and headed toward the rest room. 

He felt much better after showering, shaving, and dressing. Stopping off in the bathroom once more to deposit yesterday's clothes in the hamper, he still wondered how he would get through the day. 

When he reached the table, he saw that Blair had waited for him to eat. On his side sat a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. A glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee sat side by side next to it. After nervous glances, the two men picked up their forks and ate in a heavy silence. 

When both had finished, Blair got up and cleared the table. He washed the dishes as Jim read the morning paper, trying to keep his eyes open. After his partner had dried the dishes and put them away, the detective stood to retrieve himself another cup of coffee. Turning back around from the coffee pot, he watched the student throw his backpack over a leather clad shoulder. 

"I guess this means you're not going to the station with me today." Startled blue eyes looked up at the sound of his voice. 

"Its not what you think, Jim. I have classes today. It's not because of last night." The detective didn't look convinced, eyes narrowing. "I mean it. I'm not such a baby that I'd throw a tantrum and endanger you. You know my office and cell numbers. Use them if you need me." Almost holding back, the larger man decided that the words needed to be said. 

"I always need you, Sandburg. You know that." The younger man ducked his head, a custom he had slipped into when the older man surprised a blush out of him. 

"I need to get going. I'll see you tonight unless you need me sooner. I meant what I said. Call if you need me." Jim wondered if his lover meant even if he just needed to hear his voice. 

The detective nodded his head, turning away from the other man's scrutiny. Gripping the kitchen counter and glancing away to avoid hugging the younger man to him, he missed the tears rimming the edges of the student's eyes as he took in his lover's anguish. Blinking the tears back, he stepped out the door. 

* * *

Jim looked at his watch _again_. It read 10:30, ten minutes later than when he had looked the last time. 

"Ellison! My office, now!" Startled, the detective jerked his head up at the bellowing voice of his captain. The look in the man's eyes brooked no argument. Standing, he walked into the office with his face down, taking a seat as Simon shut the door and seated himself. 

"Do you want to tell me why you look like death warmed over this morning, Jim?" When the detective looked into his eyes, the captain's brows drew together in a concerned frown. 

"Who am I speaking to? Captain Banks or Simon?" 

"Which one do you need?" Jim leaned his elbows on his knees, scrubbing at his face with his hands. 

"I think maybe right now I need a friend," he said, his voice muffled behind his hands. 

"Simon it is. What's up, Jim?" His brow creased further in worry as he folded his hands together, leaning on his desk. Jim sat back and looked at him with the vacant expression he sometimes wore when concentrating. 

"I think maybe this is a bad idea. This opening up stuff isn't my scene." He started to stand, but stilled at his friend's voice. 

"Sit down, detective. You're not dismissed." He did as ordered, releasing a deep sigh. "What's wrong? Is something wrong with the kid? Is he having attacks again?" After a few minutes of staring at his lap, Jim answered. 

"I think I really messed up, Simon." The captain's eyes widened slightly at the miserable tone. 

"What did you do?" It took Jim a long time to answer, struggling to push the words out through vocal chords that refused to cooperate. 

"I went on a date last night." 

"And?" 

"It was someone Sandburg set me up with. He hand picked her himself, then shoved me at her." 

"And?" 

"I slept with her." Hesitantly, he met his captain's gaze. 

"You _what_?" Simon spluttered coffee on the papers decorating his desk. Dabbing at the mess with a napkin, he asked, "Did you two split up?" 

"Not yet." The tone sounded heartbroken, hopeless. "I think I'll be dumped soon though. It's just a matter of when." 

"And you know this how?" 

"I deserve it." Studying his hands, Jim's pain carried through the distance between them. His captain took in the hunched shoulders, the tight muscles, and the lost expression. 

"Have I ever told you how annoying your habit of assuming the worst is?" 

"No." 

"Well, it's annoying as hell! What makes you think it's inevitable?" The captain stood, walking around to lean on his desk in front of Jim. 

"I don't think I understand the question." Confused, he looked up at Simon, searching his face for an explanation. 

"What has Sandburg done to make you think that he's going to leave you?" Just then, the phone rang. "Hold that thought." Jim didn't pay attention to the call, thinking about Simon's question. After hanging up, the captain spoke as he walked back around to the front of his desk. 

"That was the kid. He said that he'll be home at 3:00 because his afternoon class is canceled and he asked me to tell you that he'll have dinner ready when you get home." He waited for his words to sink in. When the detective failed to respond in any way, Simon questioned him. 

"Does that sound like someone who is planning on kicking you to the curb? If I was pissed at you, I sure wouldn't be cooking for you." Jim swiped his face with his right hand. 

"That's just Sandburg's way. He stays busy when something makes him uncomfortable. He cooked me breakfast this morning." 

"Well, how did that go?" Jim met his gaze. 

"We ate in complete silence." 

"Oh. Let's back up a minute here. What has he done do make you think he's leaving?" 

"It's more what he hasn't done. He slept downstairs last night. He hasn't so much as touched me since..." Jim turned his head to the side, cheeks reddening and jaw tensing. 

"Since _what_ , Jim? Work with me here!" The captain crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to one side. 

"I don't think you want to know." 

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know." The detective's eyes focused on his hands again as he spoke. 

"He had his uh...hand in my...pants. He was...ahem..." Jim's cheeks glowed as he checked his captain's face to see if the conversation had gotten too personal. 

"Yes?" Simon didn't seem at all fazed by the frank nature of the other man's words. 

"I can't do this." 

"Jim. I'm your friend, probably the only one you can talk to about this. I can't help if you don't talk to me." Sighing, Jim averted his gaze. 

"Ahem. He was stroking me when he noticed that my underwear had disappeared." He spoke the words so fast that they were barely understandable, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. 

"Damn, Jim. I knew you had a self-destructive streak, but this takes the cake, my friend." He stood straight up, his hands in his pockets. 

"What do you mean?" 

"You let him fondle you, knowing what he'd find. Didn't it occur to you that you should _tell_ him before he had to ask?" Jim's eyes widened. Simon could be right. That could've been what upset him so bad. Blair probably thought... 

"Oh, _man_! I didn't even think about that." Simon smiled at Jim's use of Blair's favorite phrase. 

"What?" For the first time since last night, the detective spoke with some purpose in his voice. 

"He probably thought I was rubbing his face in it, so to speak. Damn, what he must think of me." Leaning forward, he held his face in his hands. 

"Jim, I don't want to get your hopes up, but the man I spoke to on the phone didn't sound like someone ready to break it off with you. He sounded more like someone intent on making something up to you. I could be wrong. You know him better than I do, but that was my impression." Hope glittered in Jim's eyes as he raised his head. 

"Really?" His voice sounded excited, fear in the mix as well. 

"That's what I think. Your shift ends at 2:30 today. You're almost caught up with your paperwork and things are slow today. Take some time." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Jim, you're not going to do anybody any good tied in knots like this." He held his hand up to silence any objections. "To anyone else, you just look tired. But I know you. You're scared and rightly so. Don't answer that. I don't need a distraught detective working my cases." He grinned. "Especially not one with no sleep and a temper." Jim smiled, nodding. "Finish your paperwork and go home. You're dismissed." 

"Thank you, sir. I owe you one." 

"You don't owe me anything, detective. Yours and the kid's solve rate speaks for itself." Jim nodded and turned to leave. When he opened the door, his boss spoke again. "Oh, and Jim?" The blue eyes turned to regard the captain with curiosity. "Good luck." In return, he graced Simon with the first Ellison smile he'd seen all day. 

"Thanks. I'll need it." He walked out of the office, closing the door behind him. 

* * *

As Jim opened the door to the loft and entered, he found Blair standing in the middle of the living room staring at him. The younger man wore his white oversized terry cloth robe, his hair wrapped in a towel. 

"Jim. Hi! What are you doing home?" Surprise, excitement, and finally fear crossed the expressive features. Deciding to keep things light, Jim teased him. 

"Simon sent me home early. Why? Did I interrupt something?" The last sentence came out just a little sexier than he meant for it to, increasing Blair's heart rate. 

"Um, no. I was...uh...just surprised to see you, that's all. I haven't even had a chance to start dinner and I promised to have it done when you got home." Blair's gaze fell as he said the last few words, his left hand fidgeting with the robe tie. 

"Ch...ahem...Sandburg, I didn't come home to see dinner. I came home to see you." He raised his hand to stroke the stubbled cheek, catching himself just before he made contact. Instead, he brought the hand up to run over his hair and down the back of his neck. If Blair noticed the embarrassing move, he didn't show it. 

"Jim, you can call me Chief. I was just upset last night." 

"We need to talk." Jim reached over and took the smaller hand in his, leading them over to stand by the couch. Blair raised his other hand, which held a pick. 

"I need to get the tangles out while my hair is wet. I so do not want to deal with them once it dries." The detective took the pick out of his hand, turning him to face the other direction. Carefully, he unwound the towel and pressed the dry side of it to absorb any excess water left in his lover's hair. Starting at the ends to keep from breaking any hair off, he began to work the tangles out. 

"What happened with your class?" The younger man's heart began to race. "That's what I thought. Do you want to explain why you're suddenly blowing off your courses?" 

"Jim." He tried to turn and look at the older man, but found his shoulders held in a firm grip. 

"Stay still. You're going to make me pull your hair. You know I can hear you." 

"Okay. Um...well, I just had a lot of time to think and I realized what a jerk I acted like last night. I mean I should've told you that there is like no way I'll leave you." He threw his hands about in the air, struggling to stay still enough that Jim wouldn't pull his hair. 

" _You_ acted like a jerk? Chief, I slept around on you! And the worst part is that I didn't enjoy it, well other than the obvious. It meant nothing. I did it because I thought that's what was expected. I thought _you_ wanted me to." 

"That's just it, Jim. I shoved you at her. I should've just turned the covers down on her bed and tucked the two of you in together." He turned to look at the older man since he'd finished picking through his hair. "I mean, that's the point of us still dating, isn't it? We have to convince the women we see that we're interested in them. They would definitely start talking if we said no when they came on to us." 

"I don't like it, Chief. It makes me feel like a jerk, not to mention a whore." Blair nodded, blinking rapidly, as he studied his hands fiddling with the robe tie. 

"I just...I reacted with my heart instead of my head, y'know? I mean, I knew you went out on a date. I know how gorgeous you are. I should've known what it would lead to. I just didn't think about it. It hurt so bad to think of you making love to someone else. When I closed my eyes, I saw you thrusting into her with her arms and legs wrapped around you. You looked like you were worshipping her, in my mind." He finally took a breath, looking up as the other man gently pressed a finger to his lips, a tender smile spreading across his face. 

"Chief, relax. That's not how it happened." Blair pulled Jim's hand away from his mouth, holding the wrist against his chest with both hands as he shook his head. 

"No, Jim. Let me finish. I need to say this." The older man nodded, waiting for him to speak. "It's stupid," he declared, glancing away. 

"Why do you say that every time you need to tell me something important?" 

"I dunno." He looked down at his hands holding the older man's wrist. 

"You said you needed to tell me..." Nodding, Blair squared his shoulders, raising his chin high, a determined expression on his face. 

"Okay. It's just that you can't make love to me." 

" _What?_ " 

"Oh, see? I knew it would sound stupid!" The distraught expression tugged at Jim's heart. 

"Why don't you try to explain what you mean by that before the guy in my pants goes into a full scale panic?" Blushing, Blair ducked his head again. "Don't do that." The younger man looked up. 

"Do what?" 

"Hide from me. Every time I make you blush, you duck your head and hide your face. Don't. I like it." He lightly caressed the stubbled cheek with his fingertips, watching as the younger man shut his eyes, leaning into the touch and moaning quietly. "Earth to Sandburg." Blair snapped his head up and opened his eyes, face reddening again. Beginning to duck his head, his chin was caught and held by the other man, which made his face glow even brighter. "You are so beautiful like that." 

"Jim, stop it already." He released Blair's chin. 

"Okay. Explain why I can't make love to you." 

"I didn't mean it like it sounded. Of course, you can make love to me. You just can't enter me like you can her. I don't want it to be better with her than with me." 

"Back up here a minute, Chief. I think we just derailed straight into the Sandburg Zone." The smaller man laughed self consciously. "Is that what you want? You want me to love you...like that?" He rested his hands on his lover's shoulders as he gazed into his eyes. 

"I don't know for sure. It's just that all we've done is mutual masturbation and I can't help feeling that there's got to be something more." 

"You're not satisfied with our sex life." Jim's expression closed off, the hurt held just under the surface. 

"See? Every time I open my mouth something stupid comes out. Forget I said anything." 

"How can I forget that I don't satisfy you?" 

"Jim, don't be like that. I didn't mean for it to sound like you don't do me right. I mean, when you touch me... when you wrap your hand around my cock...oh, man...it feels _so_ good." To illustrate his point, he untied his robe and parted it enough for the heavy erection between his legs to fall out. "Does this look like you don't satisfy me? This happened just thinking about how it feels when you touch me!" Jim groaned. 

"Blair, fasten your robe. We need to discuss this." The younger man wiggled his hips playfully, making his erection bob back and forth as his balls swung. Jim adjusted himself while glaring at the smaller man. 

"Sandburg! Close your robe!" The younger man pushed out his lower lip as he pulled the robe that had slid down his arms shut again and tied it, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Stop that." 

"What now?" he asked in a petulant tone. 

"Stop pouting." 

"I wanted to play," he said, sounding like he would throw a fit any second. 

"Chief. I cheated on you. I feel terrible about it, but I did. You're not satisfied with how I make love to you and you want to _play_?" he asked, his tone incredulous. 

"Jim, I told you. I'm satisfied with our sex life. I'd just like to think about moving to the next level. That's all." He shrugged. 

"The next level." 

"I thought maybe we could do some research and see what all we could do." Jim placed his hands on Blair's shoulders again, squeezing slightly for emphasis. 

"Trust me on this, Chief. If we _ever_ have anal sex, it will _only_ be after we've done a load of research. I will never take a chance on hurting you and I don't think you would me, either." Blair squawked. 

"You'd let me...take you?" He gestured toward Jim's rear end with his hands. 

"You love me, don't you?" Blair shut his eyes. 

"With everything that I am, Jim." It sounded like a wedding vow. 

"And I love you. Why wouldn't I want you to make love to me?" 

"I...I don't know! I just never thought about...doing that to you. Oh, man, I am so hard right now that I could probably cut diamonds." Jim began to massage his shoulders. 

"Slow down there, Chief. We've got plenty of time." 

"You'll consider it?" 

"I'll consider doing research on it, yes. But you have to be brutally honest with me here. If I'm not satisfying you, I need to know." 

"Jim. Do I look or feel like I'm unsatisfied when we make love?" 

"No, but I'm serious here. No lover of mine is going to be walking around feeling unfulfilled." The younger man shuddered. 

"You make it sound like a mission." Blair fingered Jim's covered chest as they talked. 

"Don't I always accomplish my missions?" 

"Uh, yeah." 

"Then what makes you think this is any different? I want your groin to tighten when you even think of me making love to you. I can't do that if you don't work with me." 

"Jim. Just hearing you say that is tightening me. I don't think it's possible for you to not satisfy me. I want you 24/7. I tease myself thinking about...nevermind." Jim grinned. 

"Thinking about what, Chief?" The younger man glanced away, clearly uncomfortable. 

"Nothing, nevermind." Seeing that whatever it was genuinely caused his lover distress, Jim let it go. For now. 

"Okay. Maybe we'll talk about it another time?" Blair nodded as Jim ran a finger along his cheekbone. 

"Yeah, maybe." 

"Okay, so what are we having for dinner?" 

"Oh, uh, I was going to make a casserole. Why don't you go shower and relax and I'll get it started?" Jim smiled. 

"Don't you think you should get dressed first?" Blair selfconsciously looked down at himself. 

"Oh, yeah. Right." Jim watched as he headed up the stairs to change. His jaw nearly hit the floor when the younger man came back down the steps wearing his favorite outfit on him. He wore a worn pair of sweat pants that hugged his thighs, butt, and groin and a baggy t-shirt that outlined the strength in his shoulders. Both were heather grey. 

"All set, man. Go on and get cleaned up." He grinned at the older man, who visibly faltered under his attention. 

"Sure. Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes." He headed toward the bathroom, still wearing his leather jacket. He missed the chuckle that escaped his lover. 

* * *

"Chief, that was a delicious dinner. Thank you." He blessed the younger man with a heartwarming smile. 

"No problem, man. I'm glad you liked it." Blair smiled back at him. 

The two men walked over to the couch, sitting down together in a companionable silence, holding hands. The uneasy silences of the previous night and that morning no longer held any power over them. 

"Now that you've stuffed me properly, I don't think I'm going to be able to keep my eyes open for long." 

"I'm sorry, Jim. It's my fault you had a crappy day." 

"Why don't we just accept each other's apologies and move on. What do you say?" the older man mumbled drowsily. 

"Sounds like a plan to me. I'm also sorry that I made you feel inadequate. That was so not part of the plan." 

"It's okay. I think I get what you were trying to say. You want to feel like we're going somewhere instead of being stuck." Blair turned to face him with his legs pretzeled, squeezing Jim's hand to emphasize his words. 

"But being stuck with you is so much more than I'd ever hoped for. Even if we just continue as we are for the rest of...this relationship, I'd be perfectly happy. I'm just curious about what else we can do." Jim nodded, sipping his beer. 

"And you probably wanted to get started tonight, didn't you? I hope you're not going to try to convince me that your outfit was a coincidence." Blair blushed, but caught himself before hiding his face. 

"No. It was completely intentional." He grinned. 

"So, I'm forgiven?" 

"Yes, completely. Am I?" 

"I don't see anything to forgive you for, but if that's what you need...then, yes, I forgive you." 

"I need it for putting you through hell, man. It is _so_ not cool what I did to you!" 

"You were hurting, too. You needed time, just like you said." 

"But hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. Here I went on and on about you having this jealousy thing when I talked to Denise in the bullpen. When the tables turned, I completely lost it, man. That was not fair." 

"It happened, Chief. Move past it. I'm not particularly proud of that 'jealousy thing' over Denise, but we got past it. We need to do the same with this. I know it's easier said than done because I'm really feeling lousy for sleeping with Karen." 

"I told you, I practically gave you my blessing. You did it because you thought that was what I wanted and you _knew_ that was what she wanted. It just hurt in my heart." Blair placed their joined hands on his chest. 

"I know, Chief. How do you think I feel when I send you out with Sam?" Blair shuddered. 

"That woman is an animal!" 

"Which is exactly why we won't be dating anyone except each other from now on, unless that's not okay with you?" Tucking a stray strand of hair behind his lover's ear, he held his breath waiting for the answer. 

"It is like so okay with me!" Blair launched himself at the older man, who caught him in a hug. 

"If I had known I'd get that kind of reaction, I would've suggested it sooner." Sandburg took advantage of the situation, doing some quality snuggling. 

"It just feels like cheating, y'know? Jim?" 

"Yes, I know. What?" He squeezed the man in his arms. 

"You're...uh...talking about your feelings a lot today. Are you okay?" 

"Make up your mind, Chief. Either you want me to or you don't." 

"I do! It's just... _weird_." 

"The things we've been talking about are important. I don't generally wear my heart on my sleeve, but this relationship matters a lot to me and I want it to last. You've always had a talent for getting me to talk, anyway." He smiled warmly down at the man snuggling in his arms, who returned it with interest. 

"So what will we say when we refuse dates because we're in a committed relationship?" 

"I'm not sure about that. This is unfamiliar territory to me, but dating in spite of what I feel for you feels dishonest." He shrugged. 

"Okay." The larger body relaxed. "Jim." 

"Hmm?" 

"Why don't you lie down with your head in my lap? You'll hurt your neck like that." 

"Wha' you gon' do?" 

"I've got some reading to do. I missed a class today and I don't want to fall behind. We'll head up to bed a little later. Okay?" 

"'kay." Jim got up and waited for Blair to get comfortable. After a couple of minutes, he lay down and handed the blanket across the back of the couch to the younger man. The student grinned as he spread it out over the large frame. It only took about two minutes for the detective to conk out. 

After a few minutes, Blair felt movement in his lap. Lifting his book, he saw that Jim had scooted his face almost against his groin, his breath caressing the sensitive flesh through the thin material. 

"Oh, man. Jim, if you only knew..." He stroked the back of the cop's head and saw a smile spread across his sleep relaxed face. 

* * *

"Chief?" The younger man looked up from the file he had been studying, placing a finger in it to mark his place. 

"Yeah, Jim?" The older man scanned the room to make sure nobody sat close enough to hear him. 

"Will you go out on a date with me tonight?" 

"A _date_?" 

"Yep. I thought we'd go out to dinner and I have these two tickets to the Jags game, but if you don't want to go..." He smiled as the younger man's eyes narrowed. 

"You just try to take someone else!" They laughed together. 

"Jim?" 

"Yeah?" He raised his head back up, his eyes meeting those of the other man. 

"This romantic side of you can be nice...as long as you don't overdo it." The older man smiled, bringing his attention back to his paperwork. 

* * *

"Oh, _man_! Look at that!" 

Jim walked to the bathroom door to check on his partner, who had taken the room hostage to get ready for their date. He knocked lightly, hearing the startled intake of breath on the other side of the door. 

"Chief, is everything alright in there?" 

"Uh, yeah. Fine. Sorry. I was just thinking out loud. I'll be out soon." 

Jim felt thankful that he had managed to get showered and ready first. He wondered what in the world could be taking Blair a full hour and counting to get ready. Normally, he could throw himself together in 10 minutes with no problem. 

Finally, the door opened and the object of his musings stepped out. His mouth dried out at the sight. The other man wore an outfit totally comprised of things the detective had bought for him. He wore a black t-shirt underneath a dual tone blue flannel shirt that accentuated the color of his eyes. Both had been tucked into tight black jeans, which led down to the shoes that replaced the ones "Sneaks" had snagged from him. 

Jim's eyes wandered from Blair's feet back up to his face, which turned a faint pink at the scrutiny. His hair looked perfect, not a strand out of place. Just a touch of the cologne he had given the younger man tickled the detective's nose. 

Blair's nervousness radiated from his body in waves. Jim could feel his heat and smell the change in his scent from across the room. 

"You look delicious." Blair's shoulders relaxed at the compliment as he released a heavy sigh. 

"Thanks, man." Grinning, he added, "You don't look too shabby yourself." He playfully punched his lover in the stomach. 

"C'mon, let's go before we miss our reservations." Blair nodded, shrugging into his jacket as they stepped out the door. 

* * *

As they approached the loft, Blair used his body and hands to make his point. Reaching for his keys to unlock the door, he continued talking. 

"Blair." Jim wrapped his long fingers around the younger man's wrist to stop him from unlocking it just yet. The other man stopped talking mid-word and turned his head sharply to look up at him. 

Jim pulled on Blair's hand until they faced each other. He pushed the student's hair back off his shoulders, setting his own hands there. Using a finger under his chin, he tipped the younger man's face up toward his own. 

"I really had a good time tonight. I'd like to see you again." The student nervously smiled. 

"I'd like that a lot." His eyes widened as he saw the older man's mouth nearing his. "Jim!" The detective stopped in place. 

"Yes?" 

"What are you doing?" 

"You don't want me to kiss you goodnight?" 

"Goodnight?! Where are you going?" 

"I'm dropping my date off at his apartment. I can't exactly invite myself in." He heard the younger man's heart flutter just as it had every other time he did the "first date" thing tonight. It angered him that his love hadn't been made to feel special like this more often. 

"Um, are you sure you want to kiss me out _here_?" Jim nodded, the intensity in his eyes leaving no room for doubt. "I'm down with that," he said, nodding as if he'd finally talked himself into the idea. 

Jim pulled Blair a little bit closer to him, leaning his head down until he brushed his lips gently across the other man's. The student opened his mouth to allow him entrance, but he declined the invitation. He kept the kiss chaste, playing his game. 

"Evening boys." Blair jumped back as if he'd been burned, his head hitting the door with a resounding thud. 

"Uh, hi, Ms. Williams." He rubbed the back of his head, glaring indignantly up at his date. 

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it, Ms. Williams?" Jim asked, not appearing flustered in the least as he licked his lips, tasting Blair. 

"It appears that way, detective. You boys have a good night, now. I'd best be going to check on Fluffy." Her dog would not appreciate being left alone in his apartment down the hall for very long. She had that animal spoiled completely rotten. 

"Oh, man..." Blair thumped his head back against the door again as Jim put his hands in his pockets. 

"I guess I'd better be going. Goodnight. I had a great time." After kissing Blair on the cheek, he turned and walked down the hall. Always one to think fast, the younger man called out to him. 

"Jim, wait!" The detective turned, smiling at him. "Um, would you like to come in for some coffee or tea or something?" Blair pointed at the door with the keys in his hand. Jim gave him the Ellison smile that would light up a city block as he walked toward him. 

"I'd love to. Or something." 

Once inside the door, Jim surveyed the loft as if seeing it for the first time while Blair hung their coats. 

"Nice place." The younger man snorted. 

"Thanks, man. I have this neat freak roommate you wouldn't believe. The kitchen's this way." 

Jim followed Blair into it, thinking that the younger man seemed to be enjoying their little game as much as he did, chattering as he made coffee. When he turned back to the older man, the smile and jovial manner had left the detective's face. 

"Jim? What's wrong?" 

"Come here. I have something I need to tell you." 

"Okay." 

Blair walked over to him and waited. Jim wrapped his arms around him in a trademark Ellison squeeze-me-until-I-can'tbreathe hug, which the younger man returned. Pulling the hair back away from his lover's ear, the detective leaned down to whisper into it. 

"I love you, buddy." Blair let out a surprised gasp as he tightened his hold on the other man. 

"I love you, too, Jim. I love you so much." His voice sounded shaky as he buried his head in the other man's chest. Jim straightened his back and held him there in the embrace, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. The coffee finished brewing, but neither man moved. They stood there, enjoying the warmth of each other and how well their bodies fit together. 

"You want some coffee, Chief?" 

"Mmm. This is much better." 

"This is nice, but my back is starting to cramp. I'm going to have to move soon." Blair stepped back, his eyes glancing anywhere except at his lover. 

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean to get all clingy there." 

"The clinging felt pretty mutual to me." He smiled and stepped forward, resting his hands on the younger man's shoulders. "Blair, you are _not_ clingy. You are your own person. You have a very sharp mind and can hold your own in a dangerous situation. Get that idea out of that beautiful head of yours. Got it?" The smaller man nodded, not looking up. 

"Alright. We must've slipped into the Sandburg Zone again. What's going on in there?" Jim tapped his partner's left temple with his finger. 

"Nothing." The detective crossed his arms in a "tell me another one" posture. "Well, I just don't want to be a disappointment to you. This relationship is starting to mean a lot to me and that's scary." Jim swallowed hard. 

"Do you want out?" 

"NO! No, that's not what I meant. I've just never _needed_ someone like this. I'm afraid of acting clingy and scaring you off." 

"Chief, look at me." He raised doubtful eyes to meet Jim's. "Do I look like a man who is afraid right now?" 

"No." 

"That's because I'm not. I have no problem with commitment or being needed. I like both of those things. If you have a problem with either, you need to tell me." 

"It's not that I have a problem with them, exactly. It's just that it's something I'm not used to feeling. I have the same walls around my heart that you do. People just don't see them as readily as yours." 

"I know about your walls." 

"You do?" 

"You've been so busy getting through mine that you didn't notice that every time you took a block out of mine, I took one out of yours." Blair's gaze darted around the room, finally looking up at the detective with an awe filled expression. 

"You're right!" Jim smiled. 

"I may be a muscle bound jerk, but I'm not stupid." 

"I didn't mean that! It just never occurred to me." 

"I know you didn't, but I want to share something with you. You've told me how hard it was for you to gain the acceptance of my peers." Blair nodded. "When I step into your academia, do you know what people see?" He shook his head. "They see an aggressive Neanderthal invading their turf. They see me as a threat because I have one of the most valued members of their society in my corner. You talk about feeling like an outsider. I _know_ about feeling like an outsider. At least the cops don't treat you like you're stupid." 

Blair's cheeks flushed red. For a moment, Jim thought the anger in them would be directed at him. The younger man's fists bunched at his sides, his eyes glowing. 

"Who treated you like that, Jim?" The detective laughed. 

"Nobody in particular has done it, Chief. It's just the attitude in general, just like everyone assumes you're on loan from narcotics because you have long, beautiful hair." Jim touched the curls reverently, feeling them caress his thumb and forefinger. 

"Jim! Everybody doesn't think my hair is beautiful! _I_ don't think that. Ick." He shuddered as if he thought the concept gross. 

"You know what I'm saying." 

"Yeah." 

"I was just trying to say that we come from two different worlds that aren't necessarily friendly to each other. But to need each other is okay because we were able to look past all the stereotypes and see what's in here." He put his hand over his heart. Blair stepped forward and set his hand over Jim's. 

"You're getting serious about this relationship, aren't you, Chief?" The younger man's expression transformed into abject fear, his pulse skyrocketing. "I want the truth." 

"Yeah." He closed his eyes as if waiting for a death sentence. 

"Good." Jim turned and walked into the kitchen, retrieving two coffee cups. 

"Good? _Good_?!" The detective smirked as he poured. He set the younger man's cup down on the counter, seeing a rant about to erupt. Leaning against the counter and sipping his coffee, he prepared for the explosion. 

"Man, you are some piece of work, you know that? I've been trying to hide how serious I feel about you and all you can say is 'good'?" He paced back and forth, unable to contain his feelings. 

"What do you want? How about _very_ good. Better?" Blair stopped, turning to regard his smug lover. 

"That is so not funny. I try not to tell you I love you too often so that you won't feel cornered or trapped. I mean, serious is the last thing I expected to feel in this relationship." 

"Why? Am I that unlovable?" His grin softened the words. 

"No, Jim." The anger in his eyes sobered the older man's teasing. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't toy with you like that." 

"Damn right, you shouldn't! I'm telling you my feelings and you're standing there with that smirk. I really want to wipe it right off your face." 

"Give it your best shot, Darwin," he said as he raised his cup to take another sip. 

"Is that a challenge?" 

"It is." 

"Oh, man. I'd really like to..." 

"You'd like to what?" 

"As if I'd tell _you_. I do want to stay healthy." The playful expression fell from Jim's face. 

"You know I'd never hurt you, Chief. That you'd even think that about me..." The older man frowned. 

"It was a joke, Jim." 

"Don't even joke about me being abusive. I don't like it." 

"Fair enough. Do I still have a challenge?" Jim nodded, bringing the smirk back onto his face. "Oh, man. You are good." 

"I'd like to think so." 

"Am I still on my first date?" 

"That's up to you." He shrugged. 

"I wouldn't want my date to think I'm a slut." Jim grinned. 

"The honeymoon's over. I _know_ you're a slut. But you're _my_ slut. Anybody else that touches will get their fingers broken." 

"Ooh, are you going to go primal on me?" His eyes twinkled. 

"I'm not going to do anything with you standing all the way over there." 

In three strides Blair stood toe to toe with the older man, who wore the most smug expression he could manage. Standing on his toes, he licked the detective's lips seductively. 

"I'll be standing over by the couch if you want me." With that, he turned and left the kitchen area. One detective that had his self-satisfied expression ripped from his face watched him walk away. How did he turn the tables so effortlessly? Sighing, he pushed himself away from the counter, setting his cup on it. 

Turning off the lights in the loft, Jim left Blair standing in front of the couch with an apprehensive expression. 

"Relax, Chief. I'm just setting the mood here." He walked into their office, coming out a few minutes later carrying several of the raspberry candles that he liked. Setting them down around the room, he lit them one by one. As he did, he heard his lover's respiration and heart rate speed up. 

Finally, Jim came over to stand in front of Blair. The younger man stood with his back to the couch, the detective facing him about six inches away. He stood close enough to excite the smaller man, but far enough away to admire him and build the tension. 

Blair's eyes pleaded with the other man, but for what he didn't know. He stood in front of his lover, searching the shorter man's eyes for any indication of what he wanted. The pheromones seeking him from the younger man's body teased his nose, but he hadn't expected just standing there waiting to excite him. Sandburg's jeans tightened impossibly in the front as a groan escaped the full, sensuous lips. 

The look in Blair's eyes changed from pleading to longing and outright lust. Jim stepped forward a fraction, gazing down into the younger man's eyes, still not touching him. For someone as sensual as Sandburg, it had to be pure torture. 

"What is it that you want?" Jim's voice left his mouth in a verbal caress. 

"Suck me, Jim, please." The need in his voice stroked the older man's groin as he continued to keep constant eye contact. Smiling at his lover warmly, he prolonged the suspense. Blair's shoulders fell, a soft sigh escaping him. 

Breaking the eye contact, the student ducked his head as his cheeks flushed bright red. Allowing him to try to hide it, the larger man could see and feel the heat radiating from his lover's candlelit face. 

Finally, Jim moved forward again and began to unbutton the flannel shirt Blair wore. The younger man just stood there pliantly, allowing the detective to do whatever he wanted with his body. He finished unbuttoning the shirt, pulling it out of his lover's jeans and throwing it on the arm of the couch. 

The detective brought both hands up and weaved them through the half soft, half stiff curls blanketing the younger man's face. With his thumbs he tilted Blair's head back, smiling when the smaller man parted his lips. The much dreamed about tongue sneaked out to wet them. 

"Jim, man, you're killing me here. _Do_ something, please!" 

Jim smiled again as he lowered his lips to Blair's, who moaned before they even touched. When their lips met, the student's pliance left him as he grabbed two fistfuls of the older man's shirt. The detective set the tone for the encounter, however, when he forcefully pushed his lover's lips farther apart and entered without invitation. 

Every time Blair tried to take control of the kiss, Jim's tongue would slip back into his own mouth with his lips closing behind it. After about the third time of hitting the closed barrier, the smaller man made a frustrated sound that reminded his lover of a temper tantrum a child would throw. Finally, the student gave up and let Jim take the lead. 

Breaking the kiss, the detective chuckled when the younger man stood on his toes, trying to follow his mouth. He'd definitely hit the "on" switch. Placing his hand on the smaller man's chest, he pushed him back down on flat feet, brushing his thumb over a ring clad nipple as he did so. At the hurt expression that followed a sharp gasp, he clarified his intentions. 

"Relax, Chief. I just want to take your shirt off." 

Blair confusedly looked down at his t-shirt, then back up at the detective as if he'd spoken in a foreign language. Jim began to work at untucking the shirt as he bent to nibble on the younger man's earlobe, evoking a moan as he toyed with the rings there. Releasing the lobe, he stood back and tugged the shirt up, forcing the smaller man to raise his arms. 

After the shirt had been removed, Jim tossed it over on the couch with the other one. Then he smoothed the curly hair back down with his long fingers, loving the feel of it caressing his sensitive skin. Blair looked up at him, dazed, a vision of pure beauty in the dancing candlelight. 

Leaning back down, Jim took Blair's lips again as he wrapped his arms around the younger man's lower back, pulling him tightly against him. The smaller man's arms curled around his torso and once again, he got the feeling that the student wanted to climb inside his skin. 

When Jim sucked Blair's tongue into his mouth, the smaller man released a tormented groan. He continued to lick and suck on the wet heat, teasing the other man with what he really wanted to get sucked. An impossibly hard cock poked him in the thigh, but he ignored it. 

The detective finally let the other man's tongue slip away from him, moving on to other things. He nibbled at the younger man's lips, reducing him to incoherent groans and pleading whimpers. When Jim finally released him and stood up straight, Blair visibly swayed as his hands fell. He latched onto a handful of the detective's tight black mock turtleneck. 

Jim lightly brushed his thumbs over Blair's nipples, causing a startled gasp to escape the younger man. He stood up on his toes, arching his back in an attempt to gain more contact. The detective toyed with and teased the hardened nubs for several long minutes. Working the smaller man into a frenzy, he would stop the torment until the student settled down a bit, running his palms over the plentiful hair on his lover's chest. Then, without warning, he would begin the assault again. 

Completely lost in sensation, Blair failed to notice when Jim dropped to his knees. He stood still as his shoes and socks disappeared from his feet. When the older man unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, he merely complied by stepping out of them and his boxers. 

Still fully dressed, Jim leaned forward and licked at the head of his lover's penis before taking it into his mouth. Blair groaned aloud as his eyes flew open, blinking back the surprise at his good fortune. His lips then parted as his head fell back, eyes shutting. 

Jim sucked him completely into his mouth, establishing a steady rhythm of gentle suction. Blair kept his hips moderately still to prevent choking the other man. The detective would have none of that, grasping the younger man's hips and forcing him to pump into his mouth as he sucked harder. 

"Oh, man, Jim..." 

Frantically grabbing at Jim's head, Blair tried to warn him of his impending climax. He couldn't find purchase on the short hair, nor could he find the words of warning he needed, not knowing Jim wanted to drink him. Finally, settling his fingers on the detective's shoulders, a rumbling groan passed his lips. 

The cop knew about the situation, feeling the shaft thicken against his tongue. He held onto to his lover, supporting him as the explosion of sensation erupted through his body. Blair screamed Jim's name over and over, which marked the first time he had ever uttered a word as he came. 

Jim sucked every last drop from the smaller man, not stopping until the last tremors and aftershocks had subsided. He released his lover, who flopped back onto the couch bonelessly. As the younger man's depleted member slipped from his lips, he tried to follow it. His desire to have it back in his mouth shocked him. Realizing then that he would be the student's slut, he would do whatever it took to get that beautiful cock back between his lips where it belonged. 

Blair lay with his legs splayed wide as the detective inched forward between them, leaning his head down to lap at the spent member. The younger man groaned, bringing his hands to Jim's head. The cop intertwined their fingers, holding the smaller hands out of his way as he cleaned him. The student's stomach jerked as he whimpered, sighing as his sensitized cock enjoyed the bath. 

When he finished, Jim lay his head on Blair's thigh, nuzzling the genitals there. He inhaled deeply the scent of his lover, sweat, and semen. Contentedly, he waited for the student to come back to himself. The smaller hand rested on the back of his head, lightly stroking his hair. 

After a few minutes, Jim leaned forward, snaking out his tongue to taste the head again. The hand in his hair tightened, urging him to stop. Blair didn't pull his hair, only pushed him away from his sleepy genitals. 

"Oh, man. That was..." Jim raised his head to look into his lover's eyes, smiling at the raspy voice. "...amazing." 

"I'm glad I passed," he said, grinning that knock 'em dead Ellison smile while seductively licking his lips. 

"Where did you learn to..." Blair gestured at his groin. "...like that?" Rather than insult, Jim's face creased with an amused grin. "Oh, man. I'm sorry. My brain is still mush. I shouldn't have asked that." The younger man cupped his lover's skull in his hand, simply enjoying the privilege of touching him. 

"Don't sweat it, Chief. It's not a problem." He shrugged. 

"Come up here." Jim rose and began to crawl onto the couch. "Wait. Get naked first. I'm sorry, but I don't know if I can manage undressing you just yet." The detective smiled again. 

"I think I like you dazed and confused. It's a good look for you." Quickly disposing of his clothes, he sat down on the couch facing his lover. One foot rested on the floor, the other leg bent and pulled up toward his body. The position offered Blair an excellent view of his prize. 

"Man, you are just too awesome for words." The older man blushed, avoiding his lover's eyes. 

"Lie back and spread your legs." Just the instructions brought a groan from Jim, immediately doing as ordered. 

Blair leaned forward, laying his body fully on top of the other man, giving them both the skin on skin contact they desired. He began at Jim's hairline, planting soft kisses all around, an act that always made the older man feel cherished. 

Moving to the forehead, Blair brought both hands up to hold his lover's head in place. The move caused his full body weight to bear down on the older man, but the cop didn't care. He planted the next kisses on the detective's eyebrows, leaving them moist. 

Blair moved to the eyelids, being especially careful of the powerful eyes. Jim sighed contentedly as he ran his hands along the soft skin of the other man's back. He rubbed up and down, finally coming to rest on the small of it, just above his butt. 

Next, the younger man sprinkled numerous kisses over his lover's cheeks and strong jaw line, finally kissing the detective's nose with a peck. The erection poking him in the hip hadn't faltered one bit. 

Jim began to think that Blair would never get there when a warm tongue lapped at his lips. The younger man licked them for a long while, teasing him. Finally, he sucked the bottom one into his mouth. Groaning, Jim tightened his hold on Blair's back, thrusting against him. 

Smiling, the student opened the older man's lips, delving his tongue between them to play with its mate. They chased, tumbled, and wrestled with one another for a long while, taking their time and enjoying themselves. 

As Jim whimpered and began thrusting again, Blair leaned his weight on his knees and lifted. A frustrated moan surrounded his tongue at the loss of contact. When his hand closed around the inflamed erection, the detective sighed, his body relaxing. 

With his left hand, Blair lightly coaxed one nipple and then the other into hard nubs. He smiled down at the figure lost in sensation beneath him, still not ending the hungry kiss. Pinching the left nipple caused a buck that almost knocked him off the other man, who grabbed and steadied him just in time, gazing into his eyes apologetically. 

The beautiful blue eyes shut, the forehead creasing as Blair smoothed his thumb through the wetness gathered on the head of Jim's cock. He continued to tease it until a deeply resonating moan rolled out of the detective's chest and into his own mouth. Finally, he took mercy and began to pump while playing with the hard nipples and sucking the other man's tongue into his mouth. 

Sucking it as if he needed it to survive, he teased the detective just as had been done to him. His sucking and stroking followed no pattern, changing erratically. The older man felt like crying as he was denied a set rhythm time and time again. Frustrated, the larger man's fists abused the couch cushions each time. 

Finally releasing his mouth, Blair placed one last soft kiss on Jim's panting mouth before releasing him completely. The other man's confused growl startled him, then brought a smile to his glistening lips. 

"Relax, man. I'm just going to get a pillow to prop you on." 

When he returned, Jim raised up for him to place the cushion under his hips. Blair settled back down between his lover's legs, his own dangling off the end of the couch. As his head dipped, the detective reached for his face. 

"Chief, you don't have to..." The voice conveyed pure lust. 

"I know I don't _have_ to. I _want_ to. I've wanted to since before we got together." He regarded the older man with love pouring from his eyes like a mountain stream. The detective nodded, lying his head back and shutting his eyes. 

Blair lifted Jim's balls out of his way, sticking out his tongue to lick the sensitive skin behind them. The older man arched, gripping the couch cushions with both hands. 

"Mmm...Chief..." 

The younger man massaged the balls he held while changing from licking to a light suction. He didn't do it hard enough to leave a mark, not sure if it would be painful later in this sensitive area. Letting go of the balls, he took a few moments to bestow tender kisses and soft nips to the inside of each thigh. 

Dragging his tongue from Jim's left thigh to his balls, he sucked one into his mouth. Massaging it with his tongue while he sucked, he held onto the hips of the squirming figure. As he let the first one drop out of his mouth, he blew lightly on it, smiling at the uncontrollable shiver that shook his lover. 

Leaning his head back down, he sucked the other one into his mouth, massaging it as he had done to the first one. The other man sang a chorus of moans and pleading whimpers. 

All the while he'd been sucking and licking, Blair had been lightly caressing the detective's neglected organ with his fingertips. Jim whimpered one last time as his lover gently let his balls fall to their resting place. Opening his eyes, he watched as Blair scooted up to prepare to take him, hair falling around his face, kissing Ellison's skin where it touched. 

Trembling, he didn't want to miss seeing this for anything. The teasing tongue darted out to taste the liquid collected once again at the tip, which was dark purple in color. The vein looked angry as it stood out against the velvety hard skin. 

After tasting the fluid, Blair circled the spongy head with his tongue. Jim groaned as he watched the concentration on his lover's face. That single minded enthusiasm would certainly be his undoing in a very short while. Finally, in a movement so quick that he would've missed it had he blinked, the younger man swallowed him to the root. 

"Chief! Shit!" 

He arched up off the pillow slightly, only held in place at all by Blair's hands on his hips. His thrust didn't choke the younger man, who had surely anticipated it. Hollowing his cheeks with suction, Sandburg gave no mercy. 

He sucked hard, licking up and down the shaft as he moved. His tongue swirled, teased, and tasted every inch of the proud erection. In just a few short minutes it hardened further and thickened. Jim gently tugged on a handful of hair, trying to warn him. 

"Chief, I'm gonna..." 

Blair released the thrusting hips long enough to pry the fingers from his hair with one hand. With the other hand, he gripped the wrist and pushed it away. Not once did the hardness fall from between his lips. 

That accomplished, he braced himself, preparing for the wild thrusting to follow. He tucked his hands under Jim's butt, encouraging it. The detective got the message and let himself go, pumping frantically into the warm, wet suction, groaning shamelessly. After a few more thrusts, Blair's mouth flooded with warm, salty fluid. He swallowed eagerly, just as his lover had done. 

"Ah...shit...CHIEF!" Jim's hips jerked one last time before he collapsed back onto the couch. When he opened his eyes a few minutes later, the pillow had been removed and placed under his head. His lover blanketed him and had spread a quilt over them. 

Feeling Jim move, Blair raised his head to gaze into the older man's eyes. He leaned forward to place a reverent kiss on his lips, hugging him tightly. 

"I love you more than anything, Jim." The detective kissed the top of the curly head, returning the embrace. 

* * *

Beyond tired, the partners struggled through a stack of paperwork first thing Monday morning. Blair didn't think they'd ever get through it. He soon wished for paperwork when Simon's door flew open and the captain stepped out. 

"Sandburg, my office, now!" Jim stood as well, closing the file he'd been working on. "Not you, Jim. I only want Sandburg." 

"Captain?" 

"Relax, Jim. I'll return him still breathing." Glancing at his partner, Blair shrugged and preceded Banks into his office. He settled into his usual seat, waiting for the captain to get started. 

"What's up, Simon?" 

"What the hell was that business with Jim last week?" Simon barked, narrowing his eyes. 

"Excuse me?" Blair's eyebrows raised, clearly offended at the captain's brusque manner. 

"You heard me, Sandburg. Answer the question." 

"I don't understand," the younger man stated, keeping his anger under control. 

"Last week, my best detective came in here looking like shit. He couldn't have slept more than a few minutes and looked like he'd lost his best friend. I want to know why." 

"It's really none of your business, but are you talking about that fight we had?" 

"You're a bright one." 

"All you had to do was ask, Simon. You don't have to act like a pissed off pit bull." 

"A what?" Blair stood, squaring off with the larger man. 

"You heard me, and you can lose the attitude. I was hurting, too. You can't possibly think that I enjoyed a rift like that between us." 

"Go on." The captain crossed his arms, intently focused on the younger man. 

"I haven't told him this, but...you have to swear not to tell him." 

"Sandburg..." 

"It's nothing like that. Just promise me." 

"Okay. I promise. Now, talk." 

"Jim is _it_ for me. He's _the one_. I assume you know what we fought about since you sent him home early." Banks nodded. "Well, when I found out he'd slept with Karen, it would've been easier if he'd just shoved a knife through my heart. I didn't know what to do." 

Banks sat down behind his desk, giving the younger man a few minutes to gather his thoughts. 

"I know it doesn't make any sense, because I date, too. It just hurt so damn bad that I lost it. It was me that had a jealous snit this time and I made him pay for it. Does that cover it?" he asked defiantly. 

"I'm sorry, Sandburg. I didn't realize this was so raw for you." 

"Yeah, well, you didn't stop to consider it, did you? I'm just the little shit who hurt your friend." He turned his back, trying to ignore the look of alarm he saw on Jim's face through the blinds. A minute shake of the head settled the detective back into his chair. 

"Blair, you're my friend, too. That was the point of this whole exercise." 

"You could still work on your finesse, Simon. The whole thing screamed intimidation." Allowing his voice to soften, he let the captain know he wouldn't hold a grudge. 

"How many people know about you and Jim?" The younger man turned back to face the captain, caught off guard by the question. 

"You and Ms. Williams." 

"Who's Ms. Williams?" 

"She's an older lady that lives down the hall. She saw us kissing outside our door Friday night." 

" _Outside_ your door?" Shaking his head, Blair waved his hand in dismissal. 

"It's a long story. What's your point?" 

"My point is that you don't have to carry all of it alone. Being in a homosexual relationship is hard enough without carrying the weight of it all by yourself." 

"How do you know that?" 

"My cousin is gay, Sandburg. He's been through hell and back with his lover." 

"Oh." 

"Whenever you and Jim have problems, if you need someone to talk to, you can call me. That goes for both of you. I'm your friend." Visibly unnerved by the overt kindness, Blair felt his lover staring a hole through his back. Glancing over his shoulder, he smiled at him reassuringly. It didn't ease the dancing jaw, but he knew it calmed the man somewhat. 

"I don't know what to say. Thank you." 

"Between you and me, I think you're _it_ for him, too." The captain smiled encouragingly. 

"Don't say that." Sandburg looked out the window by the captain's desk. 

"Why on earth not?" Perplexed, Simon's forehead wrinkled into a frown, his eyes searching the younger man's face. 

"I can't afford to get my hopes up. Is that all?" 

"Yes. That's it. Just remember what I said." 

"Got it." He opened the door, intending to head right past Jim's desk. The detective stepped out, intercepting him. 

"Chief?" 

"I just need to take a walk. I'll be back." Not giving the detective time to argue, he stepped around him and disappeared down the hall. 

* * *

Simon looked up as his door opened and slammed. 

"What the hell was that?" Jim's face glowed bright red, his jaw clenching uncontrollably. 

"Calm down, Jim." 

"Don't tell me to calm down. Sandburg is on the edge of a panic attack and you sent him there. What did you say to him?" Leaning across the captain's desk, palms flat, he waited for an answer. 

"I came on a little strong about upsetting you last week. I apologized and we were cool when he left here." Jim pointed toward the door. 

"You call that cool? What's wrong with you, Simon? There's a reason it's called a _personal_ life. You have no right demanding details!" 

"I didn't realize the kid was so upset about it. I just called him in here to tell him that both of you could come to me if you need a friend. You don't have anyone else to talk to." 

"That still doesn't explain why he's still trying not to hyperventilate." He shoved the words out through tense jaw muscles. 

"Is he okay?" Simon's genuine concern diffused the detective's temper somewhat. 

"He's controlling it, for now. He usually goes for a walk and calms down." 

"Something I said at the end spooked him." 

"What did you say?" 

"I can't tell you that. I promised." 

"Simon, for crying out loud!" His anger returned full force as he thumped his superior's desk with his hand. 

"You listen to me, Jim. I gave that young man my word. When I give it, I keep it." Taking deep breaths, Jim nodded curtly. 

"Okay. Can you at least point me in the general direction?" 

"How do you feel about him, Jim?" 

"What kind of question is that?!" 

"How serious are you?" 

"Very. Why? Is he leaving me?" Simon shook his head, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in surrender. 

"There you go assuming the worst again. I'll just say this. Do your best to make sure he knows he's the one. You have to let him know how you feel." 

"He'll run." 

"Don't be so sure. He didn't run last week, did he?" Thrown, Jim faltered. 

"He thinks I don't love him?" 

"I didn't say that, Jim. You're on your own here. I've already said too much." 

"Too much? I'm flying blind here, Simon. If he's spooked, I need to know why." 

"Then, you'll have to ask him. I refuse to break a confidence." Determined brown eyes met desperate blue ones. 

"Okay. Thanks." Jim turned and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind him, ignoring all the curious looks directed his way from his coworkers. 

* * *

"I brought you some coffee." Blair set a steaming cup on the coaster by Jim's computer. 

"Are you okay?" His eyebrows drew together with concern. 

"Yeah. Sorry I bailed like that. I just needed to take a walk." The younger man sat down at his spot, sipping his coffee as he opened a file. 

"Chief." The smaller man looked up. "We need to talk." 

"What about?" 

"Whatever spooked you when you left Simon's office." Blair's heart geared up to win the Olympics. 

"You're not gonna believe this, but I'm just about talked out for now. Can we talk another time?" Concern still evident in his eyes, Jim nodded. "Thanks, man. I just want to get some of this work done." 

"Okay." Jim knew that he just wanted to avoid the subject, but let it go for the time being. 

* * *

After dinner, the two men settled on the couch for one of Blair's favorite activities: snuggling. Jim leaned his back against the arm of the couch while Blair sat between his legs, his back against the older man's chest. With his head lying on his lover's shoulder, the student stroked the top of the other man's fleece covered thigh. They partly watched a football game, mostly just enjoying each other's proximity. 

"Y'know, Chief, I was thinking." Jim's fingers gently combed through Blair's tangled hair. 

"Uh-oh." He grinned at the older man's indignant look. "What about?" 

"Well, I thought that maybe we could take your old bed out of our office and make into a real office. We could put some bookshelves and file cabinets in there, maybe get a desktop computer so you don't have to lean over the laptop so much." 

"What would we do with the bed?" As Jim expected, the question had more than one meaning. 

"We could sell it or donate it to charity." The older man's voice made it clear that the comment really asked a question. 

"You mean get rid of it completely?" Blair lifted his head off the other man's shoulder. 

"I don't think we need it...unless you're planning to leave sometime, maybe after you get your doctorate." Blair sat up, turning around to level an angry gaze at him. 

"Normally, that remark would really piss me off, but I think you're trying to say something in Ellison speak. Am I right?" 

"Yeah." The older man's head dropped, his muscles tensing, suddenly feeling paralyzed by the vulnerability he'd subjected himself to. 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Blair's eyes searched Jim's face. 

"What do you think I'm saying?" he asked in a very quiet voice. 

"It sounds like you're saying that this..." He gestured at their chests, indicating the two of them. "...is for keeps." 

"Is that okay with you?" 

" _Okay_ with me? Man, it's fantastic! I thought I was the only one that felt that way!" He wrapped his arms around the other man's torso, hugging him tightly. Jim returned the embrace, kissing the top of the curly head. 

"No. I just thought if I said anything, it would spook you." The question in his voice drew a sympathetic frown across the younger man's features. 

"Wait a minute. Did Simon tell you what I said in his office?" Frowning further, he released his lover to look at him. Jim shook his head. 

"No. I tried everything I could think of. He told me that he gave you his word and refused to break it. When I asked to be pointed in the general direction, he told me to make sure that you know how I feel." 

"And how do you feel?" 

"Lila wasn't the one, Chief. You are. You're _it_ for me. I love you." Tears welled up in Blair's eyes, but didn't spill. Blinking them away, he hugged the older man again. 

"Oh, man. Jim, you don't know how bad I've wanted to hear you say that. You're the one for me, too. I was just afraid to tell you." 

"Glad to hear it. You had me sweating there for a minute." 

"So, are we like married now?" 

"We've been together for six months. Why don't we just consider ourselves engaged? We don't have to be in any hurry. We have the rest of our lives." 

"Okay." Blair's tone sounded just dejected enough for a sentinel to pick up on it. 

"Blair, I don't want you to think that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you. I do. I just think it's best for both of us if we take it slow." Nodding, he cleared his throat. 

"Yeah, I forgot I was talking to Jim 'memorize the territory' Ellison." He smiled fondly at the older man. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Some people look before they leap. You map the terrain." The beaming smile directed at him warmed Jim's heart to overflowing. "I love you so much." 

"You don't know how grateful I am for that, Chief." The younger man sank into his lover's arms, lying sideways between his legs. 

Jim shifted, settling both of them for a nap. Leaning his head sideways, resting it against the back of the couch, he looked down at the man nestled in his arms. For the first time in his life, he felt complete, which had always been the plan. 

**END**

I'd love to know what you thought. XFreak1@aol.com 


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